that someone..

I want someone that...

..is willing to love me with all his heart <3
..would take good care of me
..would love me for me :)
..would respect me
..would stay with me despite my moodiness and bad attitudes
..would stay all night talking to me
..would understand my bipolar-ness =)))
..will treat me as his princess
..will laugh with me
..will laugh at my silly jokes =))
..is willing to give much time and effort just to be with me
..will hold my hand and never let go
..will tell me i'm still pretty when I have a bad hair day :)
..will never look for another one
..will never grew tired loving and understanding me ^^
..will told me that he loves me all the time :)
..will stay with me through thick or thin :D

WILL ALWAYS BE MINE :) <3

asdfghjkl..

 Ang pag-ibig ay tila nga nakakatuwa sa pakiramdam kung minsan masaya, minsan naman ay malungkot at masakit. Pero.. bakit nga ba nagiging masakit ito? kasalanan ba ito ng iisang tao? o ikaw mismo ang may kasalanan at may kagagawan kung bakit nagiging masakit ito?

Ang isang relasyon nag sisimula yan sa pagtitinginan pakikipag kilala at pagkakagustuhan. Sa umpisa masaya, nagkakaunawaan at nagbibigayan, tila na ba na sa inyong dalawa na lamang umikot ang mundo kilig dito kilig doon, magdamag nag sasabihan ng mga katagang 'mahal kita' kung minsan nga'y pinagtatalunan pa kung sino ang mas mahal ng bawat isa. At habang tumatagal unit-unti niyo ng nakilala ang bawat isa. May pagkakataon ding mag aaway kayo, magkakasakitan at makakapag sabi ng mga bagay na hindi natin sinasadya at ito ay makaka apekto sa isang maganda at mabuting relasyon. Minsan kapag lagi nalang nag aaway eh nakakalimutan na kung ano nga ba kayo, kung pano kayo nag simula at kung bakit pinahalagahan mo ang taong iyon, kung bakit mo siya pinili para pagtuunan ng pansin at paglaanan ng pag mamahal. Paano na lamang kung isa sainyo ay matukso, o sabihin na nating nalihis ang daan? Nakakita ng taong mas nakakaintindi sakanya dahil puro nalamang kayo away at pagdududa. Pano kung nag simula na siyang mag sinungaling sayo? kokomprontahin mo ba siya o hahayaan nalang dahil mahal mo? Paano kung alam mo na sa sarili mo na hindi na totoo yung mga palusot niya sayo, na kahit anong pilit mo sakanya na sabihin ang kaotohanan ay patuloy parin siyang nag sisinungaling sayo? Maninwala ka pa ba? o Iiwan mo nalang siya? Kung paulit ulit ka nalang nasasaktan at umiiyak dahil sa mga kasalanan niya papatawarin mo pa ba siya? Kung sakali mang humingi siya ng isa pang pagkakataon mapag bibigyan mo kaya?

Sa mga ganitong sitwasyon maiisip mo pa kaya yung nararamdaman mo para sakanya? maiisip mo pa kaya na mahal na mahal mo siya kaya hindi ka mapapagod kahit patawarin mo siya ng paulit ulit kahit yung ginagawa niya paulit ulit nalang din sige okay lang lagi nalang okay lang kasi masaya ka eh kasi okay naman kayo kahit alam mong may iba siya hindi parin naman siya nag kulang sayo, minsan naisip mo katangahan nalang ba 'to? o pag mamahal pa din? Ipaglalaban mo pa din kasi eto yung gusto mo eh, yung ito yung unang beses na pinaglaban mo kung ano yung gusto mo, kung ano yung makakapagpasaya sayo. Pero pano kung hindi na pala ikaw yung nakakapag pasaya sakanya? iba na pala yung nasa lugar mo dati sa buhay niya? ipaglalaban mo pa ba? o susuko ka na? Minsan may mga desisyon kang gagawin ng hindi mo iniisip yung sarili mo, yung tipong okay lang kahit masakit okay lang kahit iba na yung nakakapag pasaya sakanya basta ikaw andito ka pa din para sakanya para pasayahin siya hindi man katulad nung dati pero susubukan mo din baka sakaling bumalik yung taong minahal mo yung taong sumusuporta sayo, gumagabay sayo at nag pprotekta sayo, lahat gagawin mo para kung sakali mang iwan siya o hindi siya mahalin nung taong mahal niya ngayon ay andyan ka parin para sakanya. Kahit masakit, kahit mag mukang tanga, kahit parang nalilimos ka ng pag mamahal niya at ng oras niya okay lang kahit pinapamuka na niya sayo na hindi na ikaw yung mahal niya o yung gusto niya okay lang mahal mo eh ipag lalaban mo. Nagbabakasakali kang magiging okay din ang lahat, mamahalin ka din niya ng buo, darating din ang oras na maipaglalaban ka niya at mapapatunayan niya na ang sinabi niya sayo nung una na mahal na mahal ka niya, at pagkatapos nun maipagpapatuloy niyo na ang isang relasyon na inumpisahan niyo ng magkasama ng masaya at may pagkakaindihan. Pero kelan yun? kelan darating yung araw na yun? kahit patuloy kang umaasa alam mong hindi na darating yun kasi kahit kailan hindi ka niya natutunang mahalin, kasi kahit kailan ang tanging gusto lang niyang mangyari ay paglaruan ka at gawing panakip butas :(

haaay.. pag ibig nga naman..

----
"medyo magulo ewan magulo yung utak ko eh pasensya ^^ "

this one is for you

Mahal kita kaso lang mas mahal mo siya. </3

there are times that you thought what you did is enough,
enough to let him stay enough to love you the way you want him to.
I don't want to regret those sacrifices I made those time I gave
those memories we've shared.
but
I admit that it's very difficult for me to let US go, to let you go but if this is what you want if this is really meant to happen then go, if you really wanted this freedom I'll give it AGAIN to you, I did this before why can't I do this now?
you were once my friend,my bestfriend,my suitor, my lover and now a stranger.
few days ago I was all about you I was all about us but now I just want to get over you to get over this mistake.
I made this mistake a hundred times before and I'm such a fool committing it again and falling for your stupid lies.
I've loved you with all my heart, I WAS willing to give everything to you and yet you wasted it you wasted this chance, my time, my love and my everything.
I thought this is a great decision for me because I thought this would make me happy but hell yeah it did I WAS happy but now I don't even know what to feel anymore. I thought these would last I thought you were the one and the best one for me and I was wrong I was really really wrong

we were once a happy couple 
but now
we're just strangers
yes I still love you
but baby I'm not going to fall for the same mistake ever again </3

/our FOURever is OVER :'(

*sigh*

  "coz baby I will wait for you if you think I find it just ain't true I really need you in my life: 

eh ang sakit :(

ang sakit sakit kasi ganito kasi ganyan :(

yung feeling na ayaw mo siyang mawala sayo pero..pero kailangan :( pero eto yung dapat, ang hirap lang kasi yung malalaman mo at mararamdaman mong si ex padin gusto niya mahal padin niya yung ex niya mahalaga p dn yung ex niya. In the first place alam mo naman na eto yung kakahantungan eh pero yung feeling na nabigay mo lahat lahat, di mo naman ineexpect na magiging ganito kasakit eh, yung hindi ka handa kasi kala mo okay na kasi akala mo nag bago na siya kasi akala mo .... :(( you're more than willing to do everything, to sacrifice everything para lang matulungan siya handa ka mag pakatanga para lang malaman niya kung gano mo sya kamahal. kung alam lang niya na mahal na mahal mo siya kaht ang sakit sakit na, pero eto willing ka padn mag hintay para sakanya bakit? kasi mahal mo pa din siya :( handa mo padin siyang tanggapin handa mo padin siyang mahalin :( kaht gano ktgal mag hhintay ka pero minsan naisip mo katangahan nalang ba toh o hindi :( pero hndi eh hndi toh katangahan diba? hindi talaga eh kaya nga hihintayin mo padn siya eh. sana lang maappreciate niya yun sana lang maramdaman niya yun sana pag balik niya sakin na talaga siya yung buong buo yung walang kahati yung ako lang :( ako lang talaga nagkamali nanaman ako :( ang sakit sakit kasi di mo siya kayang mawala kasi mahal na mahal mo siya :(.

bhie, katulad ng sabi ko hihintayin kita, pag balik mo tatanggapin pa din kita, bhie mag iingat ka, wag mo papabayaan sarili mo, para satin to bhie db? pagbalik mo much better ka na? db sabi mo kahit magkalayo man tayo ngayon ako padn mahal mo? sabi mo di mo ko pag papalit? :( db bhie mahal mo ko? kasi ako mahal na mahal kita sobra :( andito padin ako bhie di pa din ako aalis bhie :( text mo lang ako or tawagan mo ko :( para satin to bhie :( mahal kita :( mahal na mahal kahit sobrang sakit na :( mas masakit padn nung nawala ka :(

Left Alone

I made this last march 9,2012 :D

So today I'm not feeling very well I feel so down I feel so helpless,worthless and empty, I feel so alone, so hurt and so broken, I feel like I'm shattered into million pieces, it's as if that the only person that you thought will understand you, take good care of you and promised not to hurt you is the only reason why you feel like this and the only way to stop this kind of feeling is being with that person, being taken good care of that person, that he would be the one to comfort and protect you through times like this, the person that should be with you through this very tough time you're going through, but where is he where did he go? isn't it that he promised that he won't let go, that he'll always be there, isn't he the one that told you those promises, the promises that he promised he will never break, those shattered dreams that he promise to build and repair it again with you. Where did his forever go? have he forgotten the love you've both shared? have he forgotten those promises that made you a whole person again? those promises that completed you, those promises that gave you hope, that made you trust in love again those promises that keeps you fighting everyday, that makes you feel blessed and love every morning, every time you wake up, that made you that there's new hope. Where is it? but what about those sweet words? the words that made you fall for him more and more each day, those sweet words that makes your love for him even more stronger, those sweet words that makes you smile whenever you're alone, whenever you feel sad, those sweet words that makes your whole day even more wonderful, making it extra special whenever you remember it. What about those calls? does that even mean anything to him? does that even matter to him? all those sleepless nights just for you to make him feel how special he is for you, that you're willing to sacrifice those times for him. Have he forgotten all that? have he even bother to ask you on what you are feeling every time he makes you cry? does he know how badly you are hurt right now? or does he even bother to text or call you to check how you are doing? does he know that you love him very very much, that you're willing to do and give up everything for him? haven't you asked yourself on how does he sleep at night when he knows that you're suffering in so much pain because of him? have you asked yourself if you really deserve this kind of pain? why didn't he respond when you told him that you're in pain? why didn't he respond though he knows that you need him? that you need his sweet caress? does he really love you? or you're just one of his past times? one of his girls? have you experienced looking at the mirror and asked yourself what's wrong with you? what's missing? why can.t he love you the way you have loved him? are you really that difficult to love? were you never worth it of someone else's love? when would probably be the right time would come for you? that time where you know that you're loved, that you're take care of? and that you know that he won't do anything just to hurt you? don't you get tired and sick of all these bullshits that's happening to you? don't you get tired of hoping that maybe,just maybe someone would finally appreciate your existence, that someone would love you for who you are that someone would finally understand you. that one day there would be a person that would give you a love that you deserve, a love that you never imagined someone could give you,that someone would finally realize your worth. don't you get tired of repeating the same mistakes a hundred times? because you're still hoping and believing on the person you thought you knew, have you tried loving yourself? have you tried deciding on the things you know what's best for you? have you tried appreciating on who you really are? on what is your worth? have you tried loving the person that you know will love you with all his heart? that won't hurt you or you're loving the person that takes you for granted because you still believe that you could change him? have you tried to take a rest for a while? to start understanding yourself? Everybody deserves somebody, everybody deserves to be happy but when is the right time for me? when would probably be the best time for me to be happy and loved? I thought you love me? I thought you understand me? I thought you would never hurt and make me cry again? where did you go? I need you.. I love you. Does that even mean anything to you? having you tried seeing the real me? I'm hurt, I'm longing for you. Where did you go? I thought you're always there for me? I thought you can't live without me? why are you doing this to me? I'm so hurt. I need you ! please don't leave me here helpless I'm so weak without you you're my weakness why are you doing these? please tell me. should I leave? is it my fault? is it my fault to believe you? is it my fault to love you this much? do you really love me? if yes, how much? I love you, I love you very very much and it hurts so bad. Why do you have to act like you don't care? does these mean anything to you? do I mean something to you? please let me know. let me know right away before it hurts more that this pain I'm feeling. Does the words and promises you've told me are lies? please answer me honestly please I'm begging you. are all these are some kind of a joke? if yes please stop. It's starting to kill me slowly inside and you know what's the worst part of this? I'm still madly in love with you I'm still waiting for you If you could only feel how deeply I'm hurt right now. I don't wanna lose you please tell me you still care, because i love you.. i love you very much.

New Love ♥

"I'm in love with the person I fell in love with 4 years ago"


♫What is this I'm feelin' I just can't explain...♫

..And yes I'm in love so here's a thing there's this person that I really love, I really love so much, I would take all the risks just to be with R.A. this person is the only person I'm longing for. I've started liking her when I was in 1st year HS and she was 2nd year, we've been through a lot! lots of pain lots of hatred etc. and yet we ended up still together. This chance this very last chance for US is something that I could say really special, compared before this one is the sweetest this one is the happiest this one would be the GREATEST. There is something within me that keeps on saying to stay with her, to understand her, to love her, to take of her and to love her with all my heart. Yes love is sweetest in the 2nd time around but hey these would probably be the 4th or 3rd and yet we've found each other at the end. It's like I don't want this to end anymore, its' like I'm starting to not care to what other people would say, to other people thinks 'coz for me its' just YOU & ME, no more pain no more heartbreaks no more cheating just love, just happiness. I would like to tell all those people that misunderstood me because this  is that everybody deserves to be happy everybody deserves to be loved and to taken care of, maybe I got tired of thinking on what would others think, and maybe I got too tired of making wise decisions I want to try to make a reckless decision because I know this decision would make me happy this decision would make me feel contented and loved. I love R.A so much and I want her to know that, I don't want to lose her, never have I imagined being with somebody else. I love you BHIE, I love you very very much:*

Love Hurts Part 2

Le continuation..

"Those moments when you just suddenly burst into tears... releasing the pain you've held since the past few days"


^this quotations says it all =)


I've experienced it these past few days I cried for 1 whole week I dunno maybe I've been thinking too hard, I've been loving too hard. Love really does hurt especially when you don't know how to handle its' bitterness or even its' pain. There would also come a time that when you felt this kind of pain you would realize that you can't feel it anymore, suddenly you became so numb because of too much pain, too much hurt that this thing that you called "LOVE" is bringing you. Yes love is one of the sweetest thing that you'll ever feel but we have to accept the fact that all these sweetness has its' own bitterness, and if you can't handle that you wouldn't know what love really is. Love really does hurt but if you're too coward to take the risk you won't be able to feel what love is.


"Love is all about chances and taking risks, if you don't know how to handle these you couldn't survive"

Love Hurts -__-

"Love hurts, yeah it really does HURT"

♫Looks like we made it, Look how far we've come my baby We might have took the long way

We knew we'd get there someday♫

Still the one ang forever theme song ng mga taong sawi at minamahal parin ang taong iyon <//3 oh ako lang ang may theme song nito? hmm

Anyway enough with the nonsense intro, love comes when we least expect it, some people fall into it unexpectedly as well but will this love last? will this love be stronger just like any other relationships? Is it right to fall to it? or it's safer to not entertain it due to the upcoming heartaches?

..to be continued

ha! I'm not inspired enough waaae?! 

mianhaee I'll be updating soon 

love lots,

forever sassy :)